"Goodbye my love"

(Akbar, can you do me a favour? I want to tell you a little story about my life. Please share it on your blog. I hope noone will come across with this pain. Will you do this??? You are my only and the best boy-friend. Maybe I should fall in love with you? We'd be best peachy couple ever. Just kidding)

"Do you remember, Akbar, once you asked me 'Have you ever been unsure if your love is real or imagined?' and I replied that it was real. Loving is like a knife in your palm standing on your chest. Whether this knife will kill you or it will help you to get over all the life problems. 

I never forget my first love, it has been a long time but I still cry sometimes. I wonder if he also felt something towards me or not. But being with him was the best moments of my life. He gave me hope. He loved me when I thought I wasn't lovable. He showed me love. Yes it was like real. Yes real. 

I want to read you something. Would you like to listen? 

"You would have said I love you

In the cutest place on earth
Where some butterflies are dancing with the fairies
I would have waited like a week or two
But you never tried to reach me
No, you never called me back" 

It was good to meet him. But it ended right here. I knew it from the beginning but never wanted to admit it. So my imaginary love ended. He found his new love. New love? No he never loved me. Why should he love me when his love was never ever for me? 

Last time I talked 

he told me 

he's dating 

and he smiled

And I wished

him good luck

and I smiled.

But torn apart

inside.

So the end is here. And it was obvious. Maybe we weren't meant to be together. Maybe I imagined too much. Imagined love. 

I wanted to call him and did. But no answer. I thought I would deserve a better goodbye than this. I feel like I'm wasted. 

Pictures torn, and burned down, unsent letters thrown away.

But...

But the love will always remember

I don't like him but I love him. 

Goodbye my first love"

                      

                                           ~ Emma M. L (Germany)

P.S: Honey, it'll be alright. I believe you'll meet people you'll love the most in the future. And you'll find your true love there. Be thankful for everything, because at least he showed you LOVE.