Ways I passed

 And we all are dying inside...

Every night I used to pray that I'd find my people - And finally I did - on the open road. We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain Nothing we desired anymore - Except to make our lives into a work of art. Live fast. Die young. Be wild, and have fun Who are you? Are you in touch with all your darkest fantasies? Have you created a life for yourself where you're free to experience them? I have! I am fucking crazy, but I am free!

Such beautiful memories. If only I could go back to those times. I always remember all this time.  And this is a small birthday present for my dearest person who is celebrating a birthday today. Happy birthday, 20.08.2020 

"...to what I've become and the reality is hard to face. “You’re in love with a fake. I'm a fake.” As I spit out the words, I think about Fergus. He was right all along and yet I refused to believe him. “I thought I wasn't good enough. That there was something wrong with me. That I needed to change for you to love me, to be different, to be more …” I can feel my eyes welling up as I remember those emotions. When we broke up the first time I blamed myself. It was all my fault. If only I'd tried harder, done things differently, been funnier, sexier, cleverer, more enthusiastic, sporty, successful . . . more everything , then Seb would have fallen in love with me. Because somewhere, somehow, something got buried deep down inside of me, an insecurity, anxiety, self-doubt — call it what you want — that made me feel I didn't deserve to be loved, that plain little old me could never be a success, that somehow I wasn't worthy. And for all these years I'...

(Akbar, can you do me a favour? I want to tell you a little story about my life. Please share it on your blog. I hope noone will come across with this pain. Will you do this??? You are my only and the best boy-friend. Maybe I should fall in love with you? We'd be best peachy couple ever. Just kidding) "Do you remember, Akbar, once you asked me 'Have you ever been unsure if your love is real or imagined?' and I replied that it was real. Loving is like a knife in your palm standing on your chest. Whether this knife will kill you or it will help you to get over all the life problems.  I never forget my first love, it has been a long time but I still cry sometimes. I wonder if he also felt something towards me or not. But being with him was the best moments of my life. He gave me hope. He loved me when I thought I wasn't lovable. He showed me love. Yes it was like real. Yes real.  I want to read you something. Would you like to listen?  " You would have said I lov...

- Are you happy? - Can't be more than this!

"Have you ever been unsure if your love is real or imagined?!"

So my theory :) Every day, every hour, every single second someone is born. People are born in different cities, countries, sides. There are three main Points of the Life. Let me explain it with two different people: Two people were born on the First point. One was born in Asia and another is on the other side of the world. They have different ways, different destinations, but destiny will lead them to the Second point! On the second point they, two strangers, meet each other! Even though they live 1000 miles away from each other, they meet each other. They become friends. And they will make a strong tie. They will tie their souls. (But not all people can do this strong tie!) The time will end they cannot stay on this point forever. Because time is moving, other destinations are waiting for them. They will again take different directions.   Days pass, months pass, years pass. Things will change. But the tie, two strangers have made, will stay the same, even become...

"I can know about his feelings only when I meet him. Even I am not sure about my feelings. If I tell him something wrong now, I may lose him. I must not lose control over myself and I should keep concentrating. If I lose myself, I lose it all".                                                                                                             - L. P.                                                                                                       ...